Today we:
1. Visited the largest aquarium in the world…
which is inside…
2. The largest shopping mall in the world…
and then we…
3. Took the fastest elevator in the world…
up the…
4. Tallest building in the world!

(Batman also reckons we had the most expensive couple of drinks in the world. Not quite, but close!)

Gosh, it’s great. We’re exhausted by the sheer effort that we’re applying to our relaxation. Yesterday included two miles on the treadmill (walking, of course, and only on account of the huge dinners), and a fair bit of wallowing in the Hot! Less Hot. Mmmm, lovely. Cooler. Bloody freezing! pools of the Turkish bath. Hubba.
Then we had a trip out for a bit of Organised Religion, under the care of the most enthusiastic Italian priest in the world, and that’s saying something. He had an accent exactly like Count Dracula, and shook hands with the entire congregation on the way out. Batman’s disguise includes some very red hair, and Count Priest announced, at the top of his voice, “Ha! Zis ees new haiirrr! Ha!” Most amusing.
Today’s excitement has included a stingray at the beach, but only for a minute. It’s also included more treadmill, a snooze, and perhaps a trip to the souk, if we can stay awake that long. It’s chancy enough.

Yes, it’s hot. Yes, it’s not exactly heavy on the culture front. But oh, how fabulous. This hotel is magnificent. The sea is sublime, bathwatery warm, with talcum-powder sand, and the prettiest shells. And the food is waist-explodingly, diet-bustingly excellent. We’re going up the world’s tallest building on Monday. Not too shabby. Heading out for a spot of exploring now, then back in time for afternoon tea. Now that’s what I call a proper holiday. What ho!

In the good old days, I liked adventures, and travelling, and foreign grub. Now I am old, and tired, and no longer always constipated. Batman and I have spent our holiday fund on new plastic windows and doors (how exciting) and a new car (for him, natch), and so the trip Over There has hit the skids.  We’ve passed the last two months saying, gaily, “Oh yes, we’re off in August, but nothing booked, you know! Probably go to Mexico!” (Not the S. American one, of course.)

That was fine, until it rained all day on Friday. Hard. Unceasingly. I couldn’t take it any more. The Hindernet, a valid credit card, and a wet Friday was a bad combination.

So we’re going on holidays tomorrow. Packed? No. I spent the day de-cluttering my wardrobe. Why did you let me wear those things? Batman, smug *so-and-so*, leapt out of bed and packed, with a song on his lips and joy in his heart. I don’t like packing any more, so instead I made Mars Bar buns, put clothes in piles for: charity shop, back to wardrobe, clothes recycling and what-the-Hell-was-I-thinking? So where are we going? Remember tourist-trap-Thailand last year? Well, this year, the plan is: Rest. Sunshine. And no Temples to trudge around. Think culture: zero. Heat: stinking. Humidity: very low. Food: lots (within the bounds of Ramadan). Need to trot around The Sights: absolutely none.

We’re off to Dubai. I never thought I’d see the day, but there you are. Normal service will resume after the hols. Be good, y’all.

I’d love to say that I have a terribly exciting life. Well, you know, I do, all jet-setting and life-or-death surgery, weeping mothers falling on my neck to thank me for saving their child’s life, nurses mopping my fevered brow and all that. It’s exhausting. No, really. It’s just like that. It’s not an endless drudge at all. I had a study afternoon today, so I made an executive decision and played hooky. Batman and I went for lunch, then bought the poor decrepit man some new jeans. Married life is also exciting. Tonight, I have been mostly ironing. I am also growing some onions, so I wed them and watered the lobelia.

Sunday was exciting, but only if you are a little bit OverThereian. Sarah Harmer was playing in Astro City; I’d bought tickets (forgetting I was on call). For once in my call-life, I was not going anywhere at 8.45pm, so I went to the concert. It was in a shady bar, the location of which I had to look up on the Hindernet. There were thirty people there (I counted). She was amazing. Oh, and then I. Got. To. Meet. Her. I am going to abandon my usual thoughts on overuse of exclamation marks, and say: !!!

In case you missed that: !!!

I also had my photo taken, and she autographed my CD. I am a little starstruck. It was an exciting evening. Much more exciting than work.

I am going back to the ironing. It is nearly bedtime.

This blog is neglected, and I miss it. In some semblance of order, I have:

1. Just about kept my shit together for my sister’s wedding.  But I cried afterwards. I miss her. She lives ten minutes away, but I still miss her.

2. Done a spectacularly forgettable job interview. Well, it was all right, but they don’t quite know what to do with me, and I think I slightly over-egged the I’M SO ENTHUSIASTIC! bit.

3. Worked a big lot. My job is pedestrian in the extreme, as my boss has an unusually mundane caseload. But there’s still a lot of it to go around.

4. Done something I haven’t done for about four years, and arranged to go for coffee with some other females. I am not very good with this kind of thing. Next week.

5. Lost five pounds. And not down the back of the sofa. I don’t know where it went, I’ve been eating chocolate every single day.

…as my Professor not infrequently exclaimed.

I have been shortlisted for the job.

The job is a part-clinical and part navel-gazing-academic post, designed to get people with previous research experience a bit of postdoctoral time. The longterm aim is to end up with a part-academic career, e.g. Senior Lecturer. It’s what I’ve wanted since I came back from Over There. Gosh, but it’s scary, though. I have to do a three-slide, five-minute presentation on “How I would develop my research over the next two years at University of Astro City.”

Erm, I would blog more? Spend more time on the Hindernet? Post some photos? It would be just like old times!

I need to go to bed now, so I can lie awake and fret at the ceiling.

See those bloody trousers! Well, I know you don’t, bezause I’m anonymoose and all that, but pls indulge me. I was out for a bit of Holy yesterday morning, skipping up the car park afterwards and caught Right Toe in Flapping Left Trouser Leg. I sprawled full-length up the gravelly car park.

Ouch!

I thought I’d broken my wrist, I really did.

Ouch!!

Bats and Sister and the Mammy horsed me into the car and I realised I was absolutely fine, apart from a scraped knee, a nastily-jarred shoulder and two slightly gravelly palms. I had to pick out the gravel at home.

Double ouch!

I think the trousers are out to get me…

(For those with an interest, The Mammy has long referred to me as “A Footless Crayter.”)

I bought a new pair of black linen trousers today. I am feeling very summery.

Batman and I went for a two-mile walk, unfortunately interrupted halfway by coffee and a not-very-nice muffin. I did not eat it all, so you know it must have been bad.

My sister is getting married in 2.5 weeks. I am a bit emotional.

The lights are fixed! We can see to pee!

I have applied for a new job (and possibly taken leave of my senses).

I almost fitted into a size 12 skirt earlier. Almost. This is good.

I am very tired, and am on call tomorrow.

Here’s a question for all the Dear Readers: what would you do?
I’m on call, and sneaked out for lunch between hospitals. In the M&S car park beside me, is a car. It’s quite warm, it’s very busy, and there are two young children in the car (approximately 4 and 3 years old). Alone.